Death by {lack of} connection

Do you struggle to create and maintain meaningful connections in your work or life? 

If so, you’re not alone! A revealing study showed that the number of close friends Americans claimed to have in 1985 was just 3! In 2004 it dropped to zero, with over 25% saying they have no one to confide in. This survey suggests that one in four people that we meet may have no one they call a close friend!

Who knows how that figure may have changed, or been distorted, following the rise of Social Media.

One study showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure!

So for all the meditation, exercise and healthy eating, it’s worth investing in connection too! 

As high achievers align with modern ideals of success, they increase their commitments, become separated from those close to them and spend less meaningful time with friends and family. 

The time they do spend with loved ones is often punctuated with the need to rest, ‘numb out’ or spent worrying about work.  

Building connection is more about the quality of the time spent together than the quantity. 

Here are 3 quick and easy tips to invite connection in your life QUICKLY:

• Bring a connected structure to conversations. At the start of most coaching sessions, I invite clients to share A Rose (something they’re happy about), A Thorn (something that’s troubling them) and A Bud (something they’re excited about) 

• Take The Love Language Quiz. We all receive love in 5 key ways. If you happen to offer love in a particular way (gift giving, for example, your partner/ family member may not see receive that love (if, for example, their dominant Love Language is Words of Affirmation)

• Exchange judgement for curiosity. Nothing kills connection more than being judged, especially while sharing a vulnerability (a part of themselves they fear being seen). Instead, get curious about what’s going on and accept them as they are

Developing connection is a practice so if you’re out of practice, expect to feel discomfort when you start. 

With practice, it’s possible to develop an instant and deep connection when we show up energetically engaged and fully present.

Connection lives on the other side of discomfort. 

You’re doing great!

Be well,